Midst of Life
A few days ago.
A few days ago I was working away as usual - among other things on writing a massive catch-up blog post, complete with already-edited pictures, to bring you up to date on the events of the past month or so (new kits, sheep & wool festivals, other gatherings, knitting, spinning, etc.).
And then two things happened; one tiny, one huge.
In strictly chronological order: I adopted a pair of kittens that a close friend had been fostering; and the close friend’s husband was killed in a car accident.
I know it’s almost outrageous, maybe obscene, to mention those two events in the same breath; but apparently the universe has no such sense of proportion or decorum, or they couldn’t both have happened on the same day, within a couple of hours/miles of each other, to the same small cast of characters. Could they?
Very obviously I don’t know, and I don’t expect to know. But I keep coming back to that question, and it doesn’t make my world seem any less random or surreal.
This is a crazy time and a busy one - I’m thankful every hour that there is so much stuff to DO when somebody dies. The show, of course, goes on; at some point soon I intend to finish that blog post and to follow it with others in what used to be the normal way… and there’s still the current tsock to work on and the next one to plan, and then there’s all that other stuff that makes up daily life and that doesn’t have the courtesy to put itself on hold when daily life is violently interrupted by personal tragedy.
But I still keep asking the question. And then at a certain point the best thing I can do is to go hang out with the kittens and try not to try to figure it out.
June 14th, 2010 at 3:02 pm
What a terrible loss, and yes… the absurdity of contrast and scale is mind boggling. It doesn’t seem possible that they could both happen at once, something soft and huggable, and something so devastating. My sympathy to you and your friend.
June 14th, 2010 at 4:14 pm
So sorry to hear about the loss of your friend’s husband–and he was no doubt your friend as well. My sincere condolences. I hope you enjoy your new kittens.
June 14th, 2010 at 4:21 pm
Please be gentle with yourself.
June 14th, 2010 at 7:35 pm
I’m so very sorry. Sometimes hanging with the kittens is the best thing you can do. The kittens need it, too.
You and your friend will be in my thoughts.
June 14th, 2010 at 8:59 pm
cuddling kittens helps with sanity. And what happened has no sanity. There isn’t an answer to “why?” (other than my mother’s answer of “if we could understand it we would understand God and we can’t understand God”)
My heart aches for her. And his friends and family. And for the baby who will never know his father. Tragedy has ripples.
June 15th, 2010 at 1:21 am
i’d love to be able to come up with something witty and eloquent about the meaning of life and all that other stuff. so far the phrase that best sums up my feelings is: this sucks.
i’m thinking about you and about them, and sending lots of supporting vibes.
totally sucks.
June 15th, 2010 at 7:15 am
I am sorry to hear of the loss.
When one is used to company in bed at night, one of the homely miseries is being cold in bed after one is left lonely. It isn’t mentioned much, but is always there. Your friend may need something to warm her in the night.
Karen
June 15th, 2010 at 7:59 am
I believe it’s the routine of life - work, kittens, etc. - that keeps us going when tragedy hits. We’re busy doing and by the time we can think, the sharp edges of our grief have been smoothed just the tiniest bit. I’ll pray for you and your friend.
June 15th, 2010 at 10:49 am
I am so sorry that this tragedy happened. Kittens are a Good Thing in life, as are friends like you who are there at terrible times like this.
June 15th, 2010 at 12:13 pm
Having heard about the Possible Kitten Adoption (I had my fingers crossed that you would) earlier, I’m very glad to learn that you’ve decided to add them to the family. And having heard about your friend when we talked months ago, I felt, in a small way, that your friend was also (a teeny bit) my friend too through you. This loss is beyond devastating and, having also lost my husband suddenly years ago (but you know that), I hope you’ll convey to her my deepest condolences. But, in time, we must press on… regardless. And tears, lots of tears, do help.
June 15th, 2010 at 12:23 pm
So sorry about your friend. Hug/cuddle/pet the new kittens. Kittens/cats are wonderful for that!
June 15th, 2010 at 5:42 pm
When lying, crying, hugging
Over a terrible loss
Having a pile of purring
Stacked on top helps
As does fur poking up above
Deep brown puppy eyes
Hang in there and don’t forget to leave room for TheBoy, hm?
June 15th, 2010 at 7:21 pm
Sometimes the universe exercises its right to make no sense at all. So sorry for your friend’s loss, and I hope you both find comfort in the kittens.
June 16th, 2010 at 7:51 am
Life is messy as my sainted father (long gone) used to say, and for you and your friend life also seems very cruel at this moment.
I wish I had sage words of wisdom for you both, but the best I can do is this - love each other and those beautiful kittens. It will help.
June 25th, 2010 at 4:44 pm
I’m so sorry for your loss. I don’t really know you at all, and I don’t know your friend, but I am thinking of you both.
June 28th, 2010 at 11:44 am
Having heard about the Possible Kitten Adoption (I had my fingers crossed that you would) earlier, I’m very glad to learn that you’ve decided to add them to the family. And having heard about your friend when we talked months ago, I felt, in a small way, that your friend was also (a teeny bit) my friend too through you. This loss is beyond devastating and, having also lost my husband suddenly years ago (but you know that), I hope you’ll convey to her my deepest condolences. But, in time, we must press on… regardless. And tears, lots of tears, do help.
+1
June 28th, 2010 at 7:46 pm
Oh, God.
July 2nd, 2010 at 4:40 pm
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